A long wait

A long wait

I arrived at ICU this morning at 9.50am & I wasn’t allowed in because of doctor’s rounds so I had to sit on the chairs in the corridor outside ICU for TWO HOURS wondering why they wouldn’t let me in.
Leah is in a side room & I have never before been kept outside for two hours because of doctors rounds.
When a relative of another patient arrived at 11.40 & asked how Leah was & I started crying & explained how frustrated I was about having to wait so long to see her.
He was so sweet & so caring, bless him. He’d been ringing all morning trying to find out how his very ill mother was doing and he couldn’t get any information so decided to come down instead.
My mother always said “shared experience makes us wondrous kin”.
Eventually at 11.50am I was allowed in to see my precious daughter.
When Leah is so ill and I am forcibly separated from her I feel a physical pain in my heart worse than anything I have ever before experienced.
I don’t want to eat or drink or do anything other than be with her.
Her oxygen requirements have increased significantly overnight so they have ordered a CT scan of her lungs for the start of the week which will hopefully give them more information than they get from her daily chest X-rays. I received this information from the nurse, who explained things very well.
The Doc who is on today is one who is unlikely to speak to me unless I insist on it.
I was told last week by a nurse that ” it’s not the norm in this unit for doctors to update relatives on a daily basis” and some days I just don’t have the energy to fight the system!
16 is the age of medical consent so legally Leah is now an adult – a small minority of staff make me feel like I’m “just a relative” – Leah’s “next of kin” – but I’m so much more than that – I’m Leah’s Mummy and she’s my child and my heart is breaking.
Leah’s liver & kidney function tests continue to head in the right direction. She’s having physiotherapy every day. She’s quite sedated and sleepy.

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