Thank you to everyone who has contacted me, with words of encouragement, regarding publishing my writings.
Producing and marketing a book of sufficient quality to sell to strangers as well as friends would require a lot of work and self discipline.
I need to grieve first.
A lot has happened in this past year that I have yet to process.
I returned to counselling yesterday.
I have written in notebooks all my life as a way of coping with difficult situations, but never before have I shown these writings to anyone, not even to my husband.
Since Leah became critically ill and died I have found an incredible release in being able to write on this page from the depths of my heart and receive such loving responses from my readers – frankly I have been overwhelmed in a very positive way by this.
Publishing a book about the Journey that Leah and I have been on this past year would expose my innermost thoughts and the life of my family to a much wider audience than just those on our Facebook page or those who access this blog.
Not only me but our whole extended family including Leah’s boyfriend Nic would need to be emotionally strong enough to cope with the exposure and vulnerability that publishing a book would inevitably bring.
In many ways this blog could be a “test run” for how we all would cope with so many other people knowing so much of what has gone on behind closed doors.
It hasn’t just been MY journey and if/when the time comes to publish a book then careful consideration would need to be given to the perceptions and sensitivities of others who have been intimately involved in this journey.
We all, in our own way, have to find meaning in suffering.
Mine is not an angry “Why has this happened to me Lord?” but a weak and tearful “Lord please show me how You want to use this awful experience in my life in a way that glorifies You and somehow helps others.”
If God’s purpose in all of this is the publishing of a book then He will give me the strength & wisdom to do so when the time is right.