Our New Normal

Miriam has been “croaky” all week & was up last night at 3am with a sore throat and a temperature of 40.6C. Today she just lay in bed – very unusual for her – and complained of soreness when breathing. Even after Nurofen her temperature was 39.1C.
Have any of my kids been as sick as this before? YES!
Did I ring the doctor? NO!
Today I rang the GP, got an appointment, took Miriam to be examined and got antibiotics. In the past I resisted having my kids being put on antibiotics in these circumstances and preferred to adopt a “wait and see” approach.
I used to rear my kids on the principle “They’ll be fine – give them a spoon of Calpol and send them on.” Sadly I can’t do that anymore – bad things do happen to people like me.
In my grief, not only am I having to learn to live with the loss of Leah but there’s also the realisation of how that loss impacts on our lives in so many different ways. There’s a new normal that is gradually unfolding in our lives as we explore what it means to live in the shadow of Leah’s illness and death. I continue to trust God and believe in His Sovereignty and loving kindness, but the lens through which I view life has altered – nothing can ever again be the same.

A friend sent me this beautiful song today.

“There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus”