Are you Leah’s Mum?

Are you Leah’s Mum?


At work yesterday I encountered somebody who looked vaguely familiar. I looked at her for a minute, then I asked “Do we know each other – have we met before?

She thought for a minute, then she replied by asking “Are you Leah’s mum?” I smiled and said “Yes I am.” There was no trace of embarrassment on her part and no tears or display of emotion on mine. We didn’t even go on to discuss Leah, we identified a situation (non illness related) in which our paths had crossed before, then we talked about other work related matters.

However, for me it was a very special moment and my heart was warmed. This woman gave me that opportunity – so rare nowadays – to say out loud “Yes, I’m Leah’s mum”, and it meant so much.

When I phone the High School for some reason, or go to Parent Teacher meetings, I regularly introduce myself as “Miriam’s mum“; at the Grammar School I introduce myself as “Simon’s mum” and when I happen across former school friends of my eldest, I become “Rachel’s mum“. Sadly I rarely have opportunities to identify myself as “Leah’s mum” anymore.

Nine months after Leah died, shortly after I had returned to work in the Health Service, I was being introduced to a work colleague whom I hadn’t met before. The colleague who was introducing me momentarily forgot my name and inadvertently introduced me with the words “This is Leah’s mummy.” The person I was being introduced to immediately showed recognition and greeted me warmly. Of course, I then gave her my name as well. There was no evidence of awkwardness on anyone’s part and for me it was another very special moment.

Even though Leah is no longer on this earth, I will always be her mummy.

Leah and Vicky

5 thoughts on “Are you Leah’s Mum?

    1. Thanks Kelly, I cringe when I think about how clueless I once was about all of this and how insensitive I must have seemed at times to people who were grieving deeply.
      I now encounter grieving parents through my work and I have even been told retrospectively by a grieving parent that she knew the first time that I spoke with her (over the phone) that I had personally experienced child loss, as I showed so much compassion and understanding of her situation. Shame we have to learn some things the hard way. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  1. The other day someone actually apologized for mentioning Brandon. I found myself comforting her instead of the other way around. I told her that I love for others to mention him because he never leaves my mind and most certainly not my heart. Yes, we are sad…always sad but please do not forget our lovely children. We will always be their moms!! Love, Dale…Brandon’s Mom

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Dale, how sad that anyone would ever apologise for mentioning the names of our beloved children. Yet we too were once the unenlightened ones, unfortunately what we now know we can never unknow. Hugs to you Brandon’s Mom ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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