Having cried most of this past weekend I went to New Horizon last night and I felt such a peace and joy in my heart, mainly for two reasons:
1) I thought of the mighty work that God did in Leah’s heart at New Horizon in 2012 to prepare her and strengthen her for what lay ahead and I was comforted that God sees the bigger picture. One of the things that Leah said when she was diagnosed was – “we have to see the bigger picture“! Here is a text that she sent me from New Horizon in 2012 – Livewire was the Youth Programme that she attended every day:
2) I reflected on how ill Leah was this time last year – she couldn’t smile, speak or even swallow her own saliva and had many other chemo side effects too.
I felt at peace knowing that never again will my child suffer in this way, never again can chemotherapy poison her body and never again will I watch her suffer so horribly.
Leah has received the ultimate healing and is rejoicing with her Saviour in heaven.
I know my contentment won’t last, because another wave of grief will soon crash over me, but last night it almost felt like a little glimpse of heaven.
Then in the Coffee Bar afterwards I met Dr H and it was smiles and hugs all round. Dr H is the specialist in paediatric palliative care who, on Tuesday 14th January 2014, dropped everything to drive from Limavady to Belfast City Hospital to persuade the staff there that it was possible for Leah to be transferred out of ICU to the NI Children’s Hospice for her end of life care – to Dr H I will be forever grateful. I write about Leah’s end of life care here.
“When peace like a river
Attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot
You have taught me to say
It is well
It is well with my soul
But Lord it’s for Thee
For Thy coming we wait
The sky not the grave is our goal
Oh trump of the angel!
Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessed rest of my soul!”