One of the many differences since Leah died is the quietness.
The house feels quiet, the car feels quiet and we are quiet, often lost in our thoughts and in our memories.
In September 2012, Rachel, the eldest of our four children, left home to go to university.
Then in November 2012 I started a new job.
December 2012 Leah had her first blood test.
In July 2013 Leah and I went to Bristol Children’s Hospital and we were away from home for 16 weeks.
December 2013 Leah was admitted to ICU and in January 2014 she died.
It feels as if just yesterday we had a noisy house and car full of children, but today there is just quietness.
Leah was the only one of our four children who ALWAYS played her music too loud and this used to drive me crazy.
In the car she used headphones, but even then she had her music turned up so loud that it still irritated me. I lectured her endlessly about the potential damage to her hearing.
Sometimes I would play my music through the car stereo to drown out what leaked from her earphones. Then she would turn hers up even louder, as she said that my music was drowning hers – parents of teenagers, you know how it is!
Now it all just seems too quiet.
Was it really so long ago that I was driving our 7 seater car with our kids and their cousins jumping about and belting out the Veggietales song “God is bigger than the Boogie Man”?
Sometimes it feels like only yesterday.