I don’t really have a plan to write on this “Journey” page on a regular basis, but some days the words just bubble up inside of me & overflow onto my iPad.
When Leah was battling with her illness I chose my words so carefully both for her sake & for the sake of our loved ones reading my posts, as I never wanted to take away hope or cause unnecessary anxiety.
Now there are days when I feel compelled to fill in the gaps & tell the story behind the story.
Some of you leave beautiful comments, saying that my posts are helpful.
I would love to think that the things that I share here could somehow be an encouragement to others in the trials of life.
Hopefully if what I have to say here is not helpful to someone then those people will vote with their feet (or fingers) & just not visit this page.
When Leah was first diagnosed she was given a gift of Rainbows for Rainy Days by its author Catherine Campbell who has buried two of her three children.
This book contains 40 devotional readings which we used in Bristol and then put on our bookshelf.
When Leah was admitted to ICU we decided to start using the book again.
On the 6th January Leah was critically ill and I was reading out loud to her from this book before the doctor came to give her a general anesthetic followed by a bronchoscopy and a lavage.
Our scheduled reading for that day was Day 5 based on 1 kings 19.
I was normally very good at controlling my emotions in front of Leah but my voice quivered with emotion as I read Leah the following
“God utters some of the tenderest words in Scripture to this broken servant – I know the journey is too great for you.”
The words seemed so relevant to Leah’s situation that I was overcome – concerned that these words might somehow have a deeper almost prophetic significance.
Leah was too weak to open her eyes but she heard the emotion in my voice and reached out her two arms and gave me a hug.
Yes, the journey was too great.
Leah said at the time of her diagnosis that God had a plan for her life and I believe that God’s plan for Leah’s beautiful life was fulfilled in the 16yrs and 16 days that she spent on this earth.
Although the emotional pain of losing Leah is worse than any physical pain I have ever experienced I wouldn’t bring her back because I know that she’s in a better place where her body is no longer broken.