Went for a walk in Ervey Woods today – my husband, our eldest and her boyfriend, our youngest and myself.
We have gone for walks in these woods at various times over the past 20+ years – Ervey/Ness Woods contain much of our family history.
Our kids have ridden noddy cars, roller skates, scooters and bicycles in the large car park of these woods.
When the children were small we used to bring a picnic and spend hours in places like this. Sometimes our children’s friends came with us too, in our big seven seater car. Or occasionally we arranged to meet up with another family here.
A close family friend died tragically five years ago. Ervey Woods holds special memories for her family too. They even used to camp here.
The names of their youngest children are engraved in a tree – I photographed it last year.
In 2010 they planted a tree here in their Mum’s memory after she died. We always go to visit Elizabeth’s tree when we are at Ervey.
We’ve had at least one Easter Egg hunt at Ervey. I remember on one occasion, Simon and Leah found all of the chocolate eggs and Miriam let a wail out of her and ran off at high speed. She disappeared out of sight and we had to run after her. Amazing how quickly a happy family moment can suddenly go pear shaped.
Now our trips to Ervey are bitter sweet – all of our family events are bitter sweet.
The present is always overshadowed by an awareness of WHO is missing, of whose voice can’t be heard, of whose laughter no longer rings out.
Yet, life MUST go on. New memories must be made. Hard though it is, we have to learn to appreciate what we still have.
In one of my Daily Readings recently, the writer caught my attention when she suggested that instead of making New Year’s Resolutions we should pick one word, just one word and make that our focus for the year.
“The My One Word challenge is simple: Lose the long the list of changes you want to make this year and instead pick one word. This process forces clarity by taking all of your big plans for life change and narrowing them down into a single thing. Your one word focuses on your character and creates a vision for your future.
It’s okay to want to be a better you—and the New Year is a natural time to start. The question is, how? My One Word replaces broken promises with a vision for real change. You are moving toward the future rather than swearing off the past.
This year, the goal is to see God work in one area of your life. And the tool is your one word.”
This almost sounded do-able.
According to the author of My One Word: Change Your Life With Just One Word, the Top Ten Most-Often-Picked Words are:
1. Trust
2. Patience
3. Love
4. Discipline
5. Focus
6. Faith
7. Surrender
8. Peace
9. Listen
10. Joy
I’ve been tossing this thought around in my mind since I read it, if I was to do this, what would my one word be?
I think I know – HOPE, or as Leah used to say:
Hold
On
Pain
Ends
I don’t actually believe that the pain of grieving will EVER end but I………..
Hope that as a family we can learn how to live with our broken hearts.
Hope that I can learn to focus more on what a blessing it was to have Leah in our lives for 16 years, rather than on how devastating it’s been to watch her become ill, go through cancer treatment and die.
Hope that somehow, my life is part of God’s bigger purpose and that He can use me to be a blessing to others.
Hope that eventually, the constant ache in my heart will begin to lessen, even a little bit.
Romans 5:5 (NASB)
“and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
MY HOPE
by Paul Baloche
Nothing will change
If all the plans I make are wrong, Your love stays the same
Your light will guide me through it all, I’m hangin’ on
I’m leaning in, to You
Nothing can reach,
The end of all Your faithfulness
Your grace is with me,
Through every shadow, every test
I’m hangin’ on
I’m leaning in, to You
I don’t know where you’ll take me
But I know You’re always good
My hope is built on nothing else,
Than Your great love, Your righteousness
I will not walk another way
I trust Your heart, I trust Your name
I’m holdin’ on
I’m holdin’ on, to You
You are my rock
When storms are raging all along,
You shelter me, God
I’m safe with you on solid ground,
I’m hangin’ on
I’m leaning in, to You
I don’t know where you’ll take me
But I know You’re always good
My hope is built on nothing else,
Than Your great love, Your righteousness
I will not walk another way
I trust Your heart, I trust Your name
I’m holdin’ on
I’m holdin’ on, to You
My hope is built on nothing else,
Than Your great love, Your righteousness
I will not walk another way
I trust Your heart, I trust Your name
I’m holdin’ on
I’m holdin’ on, to You
My Journey: 
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